Reaching out is the hardest part.
We’ll take it from here.

If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction, please share this message with them. – JOE

An Open Letter To Anyone Struggling With Addiction

By Joe Polish

First, I’m sorry you or someone you love is struggling with addiction. I’ve been through addiction myself. It got so bad for me that I nearly died when I was 18 years old.

When it comes to any addiction, almost all addiction stems from trauma. Sometimes this is hard for people to understand. If a person isn’t or wasn’t beaten, molested, in a massive accident, etc. how could they become an addict? However, some people have different levels of sensitivity compared to others. There is a lot to what creates addictive behavior.

Addiction is something you are driven to do, anything you crave that gives you temporary pleasure or relief, but then causes negative consequences – and you are unable to give up, despite the suffering it causes. So craving, short-term relief or pleasure, negative impacts, and inability to stop characterize addiction.

The challenging thing for people that don’t have this craving is to understand how someone could have that craving in the first place. They may think to themselves, “Why can’t that person just make a better choice?” Yet, I’m of the belief that addiction is not a choice. Once the addiction goes into a craving state, it’s beyond a persons willpower or intelligence. In fact, the more intelligent someone is, sometimes the more difficult it is for them when they are struggling with addiction because they think they can think their way out of it.

Addiction is actually a solution. If you’re in pain, angst, anxiety, fear, rage, depression, sadness, loneliness – there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be out of that pain. The challenge is the way we scratch the itch. It’s how we go about scratching the itch that causes self-destruction. Further, addiction is a connection disorder. It’s feeling incredibly disconnected and uncomfortable in your own skin. You just want to numb out, or escape. You want to feel something – anything except the dread that comes with that craving state…a state that always has compulsivity attached to it.

Looking at addiction from a state of compassion, as opposed to judgement, is critical. We cannot punish or beat addiction out of somebody. We can throw people in prison, scold them or run away from them, but that doesn’t help them make the cravings go away. Love and compassion are critical – and both are very hard to express with addicts. Unlike a disease such as cancer, the symptoms of addiction involve messing things up for families, being disruptive, lying, cheating, stealing and more. Addicts will do anything to get out of the pain they are in. So, it’s hard for people to have a compassionate approach when there is shrapnel being left in the wake of what an addict does.

The addict brain has an appetite for destruction. They are fueled by chaos more than harmony. It’s hard for them to feel okay.

The more you can understand the addict is in pain and they are just trying to get out of it, the easier it can be to deal with the recklessness and chaos that comes with it.

Addiction is also biochemical. You are dealing with serotonin and dopamine. From a nutritional perspective, you have to fix and repair the gut. You have to get the body back to a state where it produces ‘feel good’ chemicals in order to cope with the uncomfortable feelings. This means exercising, meditation, floating, the right nutrition, and more. The issues are in the tissues, and if you can incorporate movement, communities and twelve step meetings, it can help heal…because hope heals. Being around other addicts you can build rapport with is critical. If you don’t do it through twelve steps, you need a community. An ongoing, consistent community is also crucial to prevent relapse.

It’s a lot of work – but if you’re willing to go through the work there is a lot of freedom that will exist on the other side that any addict and their family can experience that they probably haven’t experienced before. Most people that have long-term recovery when they get there (even though many don’t get there), if they are diligent and willing to do the things they need to do …if they go to the right people…if they go to the right places... and they get through this difficult time – they come back and say it was the greatest gift they ever had.

I hope this is helpful to you and good luck.

Love,
JOE