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“What’s this thing about the barbershop? And who do you know hangs out there?”
“Addicts do”!
“Really”?
Yeah, and when they hang out too long, they generally get a haircut!”
— Anonymous from one of the guys hanging out at the barbershop
One thing is for sure if you are an addict, you want to do it again and again. It is common for consequences to scare the shit out of you and freeze the junkie worm. But summer always comes and the junkie worm always thaws and pushes to be back in business again. You may run as hard as you can to escape the wolves that chase you through the woods but the junkie worm tells you there’s magic just one more time. So how do you deal with the junkie worm blues?
During the next few blogs, I want to share short vignettes of reflection and suggestions of what I have learned over the past 35 years about managing the junkie worm blues.
1. Yesterday’s addictive actions were an aberration to who you are: You were then and are now an unrepeatable miracle of the universe. Your behaviors are not who you are. It is important to realize that yesterday ended last night. Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.
2. Practice healthy affirmation: It’s a nice thought, but it is usually the last idea you want to consider implementing if you have acted out, again! However, affirming your being, not the addictive behavior, and acting on the affirmation in spite of the critical voice that screams ‘You are a fake, a sham, and a piece of shit’ is the secret to ending addictive behavior for the long term.
3. Embracing your feelings is a paradox. There is a time to sit with your feelings and a time to ignore them and do the next right thing. Recovery wouldn’t be so hard if it wasn’t such a paradox. Addicts struggle to recognize and embrace any feelings. Yet, without being able to sit with feelings, they will never recover. So, once you enroll in kindergarten to identify feelings, you also have to learn that when feelings, like shame and guilt, come up and demand that you wallow in the pig pen of failure, you must learn to ignore those feelings and do the next right thing. It’s a moving dynamic that requires practice, consultation and accountability.
4. Commit to writing out and talking about your feelings every day. In the beginning, for an addict, the conversation about feelings will be short. It is always hard. Stay with them anyway. Your feelings will tell you what need must be met in a healthy way.
5. Practice deep breathing. Your breathing will open or block feelings that come from the heart. It doesn’t take much to breathe deeply from your diaphragm. It will touch your anxiety and break through stress to help you know what you feel which will tell you how to take care of yourself under the duress of every day living.
