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Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs. – Step 12
Stop and consider. It wasn’t that long ago you were firecracker hot on a Saturday night barreling out of control down the track! You were a runaway train destined for disaster! You were caught up in calamity. Now, you’ve stopped feeding the junkie worm. You have begun feeding your destiny with possibilities from sobriety. You have moments of experiencing true serenity. You have come a long way baby!
It’s not nirvana, paradise, or utopia. It’s simply living without being dominated by craziness and crisis.
This is the essence of spiritual awakening. It can mean many things. For some, it’s a religious experience. For other’s, it has nothing to do with religion. In truth, many had to let go of religion to find a god of their understanding which transcended the very term “God”. For all, it involved an embrace of possibility that went much deeper than the grip addiction had upon their lives. It opened the possibility of a destiny that extended way beyond battered behavior of addict living and broken beliefs that fueled character flaws.
Through a spiritual awakening, one finds the meaning of life in that the brilliance of sober living is buried deep within the bosom of every person’s soul. It is not specific to gender, sexual orientation, race, or a belief in God. It’s an understanding that deep within you there is a source of creative energy that transforms you from the inside out. Some find that Source to be Jesus, Buddha, Allah, Mohammed, and a host of other names. Others reject these identifications and recognize universal energy, collective group energy, etc. Some are simply comfortable with an unknown, unnamed Source. For all, the common thread is shared brokenness from addictive living.
It is from this Source that you are to carry the message to others. It is tempting to leave well enough alone. You’ve got what you never thought was possible. You are sane. You have a stable life and a community that gets you and accepts where you are at. Things are on the mend. What more could you expect or ask for?
Many recovering addicts live out their days this way. Personal growth is curbed and becomes static and stagnant. As in addiction, in recovery, you can choose to live any way you want.
Step 12 challenges you to give back! There are 3 areas of opportunity in fulfilling this objective—family, brotherhood, and community. The first priority in 12-step living is to carry the message to your family. This does not mean going to preach to them. It does mean to live with love, acceptance, and tolerance toward their flaws and shortcomings. It means to role model transformation and healing. It means to demonstrate making amends. It includes transforming dysfunctional behavior by exposing generational shame, experienced and perpetrated by you. It means beginning a new legacy for the next generation. It means committing to building relational intimacy with yourself, your partner, and your family.
Many recovering addicts are one thing at a 12-step meeting, yet something very different at home. Carrying the message at home means addressing the “dry drunk” syndrome that destroys safety, security, and connection with those who love you most, no matter how sober from substance or process you may be. Some who have been sober for years and have sponsored dozens are difficult to live with and continue to take up way too much space at home. To this point, there are therapists and experts who help thousands of addicts to live soberly, but, themselves are assholes to their loved ones at home. Like the addicts they treat, they too, must prioritize carrying the message home.
Carrying the message to the brotherhood is critical. Helping another starving addict discover bread that comes from sobriety and honey manufactured from serenity is the magic of the 12th step. To watch the eyes of another addict open with wonder as they move from darkness into light, to see their lives quickly fill with new purpose and meaning, to see whole families reassembled, to see the addict outcast received back into his community in full citizenship, and above all to watch an addict discover his own life force of love as they understand it in their lives. These things are the substance of what we receive as we carry the message to the next addict. (A.A. Big Book, pg 110).
Finally, the 12th step challenges you to carry the message to your community. This does not mean to preach the 12 steps to others by walking around quoting 12-step slogans everywhere you go. It’s not a necessity that others even know that you are a recovering addict in some public way. It does mean that you become a positive healing force. The universe did not transform you only so you could experience serenity or demonstrate sobriety to others. Every person on the face of this earth is communal and as a part of the greater community, you owe a contribution. It’s the essence of citizenship. Step 12 is a call for you to give back to family, brotherhood, and community.
You have embraced an amazing journey from living a chaotic out of control life in addiction to the depths of sober living. It has given birth to serenity.
You must feel proud in the journey home and the hard work of realizing transformational growth. Take time to celebrate. Appreciate the journey. Reflect and center yourself. This is the new you!
Understand that home is where you are living true to your values. That’s home! This is what it means to be an unrepeatable miracle of the universe. It’s time to continue growing toward your destiny. Practicing these principles in all your affairs is the path that leads home.
