Cultivating Risk Tolerance

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“If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple.” Jesus— Luke 14:26

This statement from Jesus, known for his love, is strange indeed! What could possibly be meant? Unmistakably it was not to be taken literally. There is a theme in all of sacred literature that underscores separating from the world around you to find centeredness, poise and peace within. 

The emphasis on hating family was that of underscoring the importance of separating yourself from family and physical existence to connect with the inner spirit of freedom that fulfills destiny. It requires the free fall that I have written about in previous blogs. 

There is a necessary cutting away from the cathexis of dependence upon others in order to find independence within one’s own life. This is where you cultivate tolerance for risk. You have to let go, tear away, pry your fingers away from your primary dependence upon family and all others. You must experience letting go, going down and trusting that the integrity in what you believe will bring you back up and keep you safe. This is the unconditional confidence that Jesus was prepping for in his shocking statement. 

No one is immune to fear of loss whether it be loss of life, relationship or whatever. It’s true this fear can be paralyzing. 

You can watch on TV or read a book about those who have participated in death-defying activities. Even so, everyone has a life experience that is uniquely horrifying and scary! 

We learn from those experiences best by learning to let go. This surrender and acceptance of a present condition is not a tidy package. There is a container full of hard feelings when you separate from dependence upon others. There is anger, rage, sadness, fear, and anxiety followed by release and relief. It is necessary to take responsibility for the contents of what’s in your mind. 

Hating dependence upon others is necessary to improve your tolerance for risk. Without this improvement, you will hover around dependence upon others or circumstances that will fail you when you face the risk of freefalling into your own integrity. This concept suggests that you let go of trying to control the results of others’ opinions and judgments. Rather, you separate and let your integrity lead you in your life, regardless of the results of approval from others. Only then do you increase your tolerance for risk so necessary in the creation of unconditional confidence.

This is what Jesus referenced. Those who do not separate from the security of family expectations and approval will never discover the brilliance that exists within nor cultivate risk tolerance in their lives. 

Some wallow in family messages that it is their responsibility to fix others to avoid anxiety and unnecessary risk. There is a certain counterfeit aura of safety that comes when you think you have taken action to fix someone else’s problem. The instant satisfaction quickly melts away to the need to do more and more until you lose your way from knowing who you are. Suddenly, who you are is defined by what you do to fix others. You must do more to keep from being less. 

The solution is to hate your dependence upon your family’s message to fix others. Only then can your tolerance for risk increase. Then, the more you risk, the more tolerant you become to explore the unknown in the free fall of fulfilling your personal destiny.  Your destiny is simply to be true to yourself which requires a radical severance and differentiation from family relationship. It is this life experience that matures risk tolerance to the free fall in life experience. There is no substitute.

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