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Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far they can go.” – T. S. Eliot
I was talking to my youngest son Sam the other day about risk tolerance. Sam is an outdoorsman who likes to backcountry ski and white water kayak among many other outdoor activities. As I listened to him share, it became obvious to me that some people have greater tolerance for risky activities than others. For example, I certainly do not have much bandwidth to tolerate the risk of drowning that presents itself with extreme whitewater kayaking. Also, skinning up to enjoy a run or two of deep powder skiing in the backcountry is not appealing to me given that I do not know how to ski powder, let alone the risk of avalanche.
It is not to suggest that those who engage in these risky endeavors are pell-mell risk-takers. Most who are responsible carefully prepare before engaging in high-risk adventures. Even within this elite community of risk-takers, there seem to be those who manage harrowing difficulties better than others. What is it that constitutes some to manage risk better than others? Is it just in their genes? If you experience low tolerance for one type of risk does it mean you won’t effectively manage risk in other areas of your life? Is it possible to increase risk tolerance in areas where you are currently poor at managing risk? These are common questions that come up around one’s ability to manage risk tolerance. For sure, it is important for addict’s in recovery to increase risk tolerance when they are asked to plunge into the unknown experience of recovery. Here are some considerations for increasing tolerance in your recovery:
1. Practice slowing things down in your head with deep diaphragmatic breathing. Before you embark on a particular challenging ski run, hike, or any other physical challenge, it is helpful to temporarily pause and take a deep breath. It helps you focus on the endeavor at hand and centers your energy on the present task. It is not designed to take away the difficulty and make things easy. It is a simple tool to help you resource from your own personal brilliance what you need to bring to the task at hand. All this happens with a simple deep breath. Those who practice deep diaphragmatic breathing have experienced how this exercise transforms perspective and empowers action with steady focus. Always know that there is no time or place you have to be or thing you have to do that cannot be done by first slowing things down with a deep breath and then proceeding with a deeper abiding peace within. It’s a dramatic step forward to increasing tolerance for risk.
2. Take responsibility for the contents in your mind. It is possible that you come from a hellish background of abuse, abandonment, and neglect. It is possible that you witnessed or were victimized by horrendous physical tragedy. It’s possible that no one ever taught you how to believe in yourself. There are many intimidating possibilities that face you. All that said, still you are assigned to take responsibility for the contents in your mind. Stress triggers a desire to escape and medicate the unwanted feelings. For addicts, the fact that you feel like crap and are overwhelmed with a craving to use does not forfeit your capacity to take responsibility for the thinking that goes on inside your head! Feelings and thinking must be addressed with action. Doing the next right thing regardless of distracting thoughts or feelings. Those who condition themselves in this way learn to manage the content of their mind and increase tolerance toward risk and uncomfortable moments.
3. Practice Step 3 of the 12 steps and make it a lifestyle. Acceptance, or surrender, is not a tidy package. Often, it is a package full of hard feelings, anger, rage, and sadness, followed by release and relief. When you surrender, you experience frustration and anger at God, other people, yourself, and life. Then you come to the core of your pain and sadness, the heavy emotional burden inside that must come before you experience surrender. Some days are made up of repeated experiences of letting go of anguish and embracing discomfort. Surrender sets the wheels in motion let leads to peace and focus in the moment. Your fear and anxiety about the future is released when you surrender. Surrender is the process that allows you to move forward in a moment of great risk. In this process, a deeper sense of acceptance is realized and solid centeredness is experienced which is necessary for increasing tolerance toward risk.
4. Practice being in the present moment. These are profound words that likely have been heard to the point of ad nauseam. Yet, the great examples of those who practice risk tolerance unanimously engage this principle on a daily basis, not perfectly but it is what brings them back to center.
I have listened to the recovery stories of addicts far and wide for 35 years. The stories of those who have accomplished great tolerance toward the risks of relapse are inspiring. Without question, each example of high-risk tolerance has embraced the above-mentioned principles and has deepened recovery intimacy, balance, and long-term sobriety.
