interconnectedness Archives

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“All differences in this world are of degree, and not of kind because oneness is the secret of everything”. – Swami Vivekanand

When I was an infant, I was one with everything. I couldn’t think about it that way then, I could only think of the word “Mine”. All infants begin with everything is mine because everything is who they are. Later, we all learn to differentiate. The problem is we get stuck there. Most of us don’t figure out how to link all that is inside of us with all that is outside of us. This breaks down healing. Transformation happens with oneness, not separation.

Think about it. The deepest moments of making love are about the temporary oneness beyond ourselves and with another. There is a natural force of energy that propels the universe. Some reference God, Buddha, Christ, Divine, or just call it universal energy. For me, names are insignificant.

All animals have something to teach if we are willing to learn. The moment you stop seeing yourself as superior to other life forms is the moment you can learn from them. Consider the ant. Despite their size, they work in harmony with the “together” and create a massive colony. When you watch them you see great tenacity, cooperation, and accomplishments, all to the benefit of the colony. A colony of bees represents the same possibility of oneness. Someone once said these insects role model the truth that any goal can be broken down into the smallest, achievable actions. They inspire each of us to achieve in concert with the community of others. We learn from ants and bees the value of oneness.

Profoundly, we have missed the insight in the world of humanity. Is it possible to celebrate the birthday of a child in the U.S. while grieving the tragedy of a starving child in Gaza? Only through Oneness can this be done. And when we connect with Oneness we take a step toward healing in the world.

When you recognize your oneness with all living things, you are able to access the inspired energy that will enable you to achieve your destiny. Of course, our destiny includes returning to the great Oneness that created our existence. Life, death, and resurrection are the common flow of life energy. You were born to this life as was the plant, the insect, the animal, and all other life forms. We have this season of existence to bloom like a rose. In time the Grim Reaper will decide that life is over and we will return to the Earth to be resurrected again into the universe. All religious faiths point to this reality with different emphases. It begins and ends with divine oneness to all things.

A couple of questions to ponder:

1. Where do you feel divided?

2. What do you think will be required for you to be at one with yourself? With another?

Remember, we are the only animal on earth that can reject ourselves. Your challenge is to be at one with yourself—to be the shaman of your own journey. Don’t forget that you are the only artist of your own life. Don Miguel Ruiz has written, “If you don’t like the story you are living, you are the only one who can change it”. Experience the healing that comes from Oneness.

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“Life is meant to be lived forward but can only be understood backwards.” —Soren Kierkegaard

Many times people disconnect their past from their present experience. In the addiction recovery world, there is a reference made to walking around the elephant in the living room. It highlights how denial fuels the function of addictive behavior. In order to survive, an addict learns to live a pretend life by ignoring what is real and embracing what is fictitious. This dysfunctional way of living paves a pathway toward addiction behavior. People learn to live a disconnected life.

Twenty-five hundred years ago, the Buddha emphasized the importance of the interconnectedness of everything. He said for us to look at a leaf. It contains the sky, the earth, and the sun in terms of what it needs to grow. He said the birth and death of any phenomenon is related to the birth and death of all other phenomena. The one contains the many and the many contain the one. Without the one, there cannot be the many and without the many there cannot be the one.

Life is interconnected. It becomes a tapestry that weaves the healthy experience with the dysfunctional. It connects bitter with sweet. It couples joy with sorrow and success with failure. It is all intersectional.

Important studies suggest that people are biopsychosocial beings. This means that we cannot isolate our physical essence from our mind and we cannot separate the individual from the environment. The history of your environmental background is significant for you to better understand the struggles that you experience around addictive behavior. Studies show that growing up in a family with a lot of stress and relational isolation impacts children’s ability to learn. A child learns to dissociate from stress and anxiety in early childhood. Later the child easily connects the numbing out with addictive behavior.

Studies show that economics matter too. People who are poor face more stress than others. They are more likely to breathe polluted air, have less access to healthcare, and be unable to address preventative health concerns, including emotional concerns because they do not have the resources to do so. They are more likely to become a victim of a system that considers material things more important than connection as human beings.

All of this suggests it is important to look backward in order to understand your present addictive behavior. Your addiction indicates a desire to escape stress and anxiety, not only present but historical. You will need to unpack childhood stress in order to release its destructive impact. Many parents have done their best while facing impossible circumstances. Understanding your addiction as not a result of poor choices but as a coping mechanism that evolved from unmet needs or abuse will help you integrate effective treatment so that you can look forward without being dominated by addiction.

Studies show that you are actually wired for connection, love, and compassion. A supportive 12-step community can have a huge impact on long-term sobriety. Here are some suggestions to help you reconnect your past with your present.

1. Connect with nature: Take a walk through the woods. Notice the energy of life all around you. Slow your thoughts and connect your awareness to the plant life, the birds in the air, and the ants on the ground. See yourself as a part of the greater energy of life.

2. Connect with others: Studies show that we have less contact, intimacy, and trust with others than ever before. Call a friend. Take time to listen to what’s important in their life. Take time to share what is important to you. Be willing to be vulnerable. Share what hurts and longings that are left unmet. Risk trusting that your friend cares about what matters to you. Put yourself out there and show that you care what matters to them.

3. Connect with what is meaningful in your work: Many experience their work as meaningless. There is no vision or passion. As a result, they turn to how they look, the accumulation of things, etc. But, they have no sense of value in what they do at their work. Determine to reconnect with making a difference in what you do for work. It may be something that others will not notice when you do it. You may not be rewarded financially. Yet, finding meaningfulness in your work will help you reconnect with yourself.

4. Connect with yourself: Most people have had gut feelings that they ignored and wish they hadn’t. This suggests that some people learn to separate from themselves. Two-year-olds know what they feel in their gut and express it. Gut feelings tell us what is friendly and what is dangerous. They tell us what is true and what is false. Take time to listen to your heart. Pay attention to your feelings. It will help you regain connection with yourself and integrate that connection with the world around you.

Being connected to yourself, others, and the world around you requires that you embrace the insights from the past while keeping your eyes focused on the present moment. We are biopsychosocial beings that need healthy connections with all living things.

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